| i work at a downtown coffeeshop |
[10 Mar 2009|12:50pm] |
I have nicknamed the mop bucket at work Wall-E and every night when it's time for me to clean the bathrooms, I haul him out and say, "Brace yourself, Wall-E."
He's a pretty good little mop bucket. Only one wonky wheel. He's witnessed a lot though. Bathroom-related God pamphlets, abandoned dildos, floors slippery with lube, and just general filth. Recently, someone pooped on the floor and then covered it with a neat little paper towel tent.
Last night I heard a woman shrieking from the bathroom, which means one of two things: either she was taking what we in the business like to call "a crazy poo" or she had discovered one. But when I went in, the place was mysteriously clean. I find this odder than the dirty-sock covered wine bottles, or the hustlers conducting their lunch hour business from our bathroom.
I think, expensive coffee fans, that Wall-E and I are being fucked with.
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| Hair advice needed |
[02 Mar 2009|12:58pm] |
I have been thinking about dyeing my mohawk a lot lately, because I feel like it's getting boring and I need to spice it up. I was thinking white and silver and grey all sort of blended together. Like Storm from the X Men. Here are some pictures!
( Read more... )
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| Hey there upper east siders |
[20 Feb 2009|07:53am] |
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Can anyone tell me if Gossip Girl season 2 has finished airing so I can start downloading it? I do not want to google. I do not want to know anything - anything! - that happens. When will it be done? I am not a once-a-week kind of girl. I am a whole-season-in-a-weekend kind of girl. This is one of those times when the internet has too much information!
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[02 Feb 2009|07:20pm] |
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I am halfway through Lolita and I am having a hard time with it. It is not the book I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be dirty and morally depraved but instead it seems to be about a neurotic European man and a bratty little kid on a roadtrip. It's kind of...boring. Pretty, but boring. I think they are updating my file in Hell to say "Didn't think Lolita was pervy enough."
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| Failed project. |
[11 Jan 2009|09:04pm] |
I have already given up on one of my new year's resolutions. I lasted almost a week! I will maybe try harder next year.
Anyway, here are some results of me taking a picture of myself every day (it's some exciting, let me tell you):
( Read more... )
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| poor emmettcat |
[03 Jan 2009|05:12pm] |
I have dressed my cat up in something she hates again.
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| 2008 |
[01 Jan 2009|11:30pm] |
On the left: me in February 2008. On the right: me in August 2008
In 2008, I decided to become a vegetarian, and I stopped drinking pop. I also joined a roller derby team, went through a terrible break up, and changed my anti-depressants. In about 6 months I lost 45 pounds, which is how much Marie Osmond claims to have lost on the NurtiSystem diet plan. I know this because I watch a lot of daytime television, because I am unemployed again.
In 2009, I will eat properly and stop doing push ups at parties because my anxiety is making me unable to sit still. I will also try to write more, and be more honest.
Smell ya later!
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| HELP. |
[20 Sep 2008|01:45pm] |
I took out our phone numbers, since there are creeps on the internet.
I have tried wandering around the neighborhood calling her name and rattling her favourite toy, I left a can of tuna by the front door to lure her back home, I contacted the humane society. What else should I do? She is too pretty to fend for herself!
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| Yesterday was Mike's birthday |
[13 Jul 2008|02:07pm] |
He'll be a man before his mother yet!
And introducing...A Softer World ice cream cakes for all your vaguely celebratory needs!
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| You there! Toronto! |
[26 Jun 2008|12:33am] |
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Tell me what you know about good temp agencies! Ones that won't mind that I have a mohawk and only one business casual outfit. Ideally, the kind that will send me to a job where I just play around on the internet all day and make eyes at my coworkers and make $15 an hour.
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| Things that are new! |
[19 Jun 2008|12:25pm] |
Hello friends! I have been unemployed since the first of June and besides a sort of depressing poverty, it's been pretty fun! I went to Toronto Island, and Canada's Wonderland, and movies in the middle of the day and strip clubs on a school night and all sorts of other irresponsible stuff! Jeff and Kacy were visiting and who wants to work when they can hang out with their friends? Kacy was the one in charge of taking pictures (except of the strippers. That would have been rude) so I don't have any to post. You will have to take my word. It was a good beginning to the summer.
You know what else is happening this summer? ROLLER DERBY! I play on the D-VAS (Deadly Viper Assassination Squad is what that stands for!) and I sometimes jam (so fun!) and I sometimes block (so fun!). Our first public game is July 5th here in Toronto and I really really want you to come. Keep an eye out for number 33, aka, LAND SHARK ok? Here is what I look like:
The little helmet cover I am wearing means I am the jammer, and that look in my eyes means I just got lead jammer (Wikipedia has a good summary of the rules, if you're not familiar). This picture is from when we played the Gore Gore Rollergirls in a private bout and we lost pretty badly but they did not go home without bruises. They are widely considered to be dirty whores anyway so whatever.
Emmett is still very fluffy and it rains almost every afternoon and I have never seen so much lightning and Toronto is pretty fun in the summertime but I am glad I have a pool in my building. If only I could think up a way to make money without working, life would be pretty a-ok.
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| mohawk! again! |
[07 May 2008|08:48am] |
Celebrating my return from the visit with my mother, I have been re-mohawked.
I am not very good at using hairspray yet, so I can't seem to figure out how to make the ends straight. Any tips? I think if I used a comb instead of my hands to hold it up while I blow dry it? Also, I'm aware that it's slightly off-centre, but there's not much I can do about that. It's pretty rare to look at someone straight on though, so hopefully it'll only be noticeable in pictures.
I wish our bathroom had a fan. There's a half can of Fructis fog in there now.
Anyway, tell me what you think!
[ ] Hot damn!
[ ] I actually liked the stubby one better.
[ ] It's awesome, but you can't pull it off.
[ ] Way to go, Champ. You look like an asshole. Good luck finding a job now.
[ ] Oh good. Another haircut picture. Could this blog BE any more boring?
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[02 May 2008|11:01pm] |
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In my last post I mentioned that Riding Toward Everywhere was about William T Vollmann "taking up the life of a hobo and riding the rails." He did not do that, and specifically pointed it out. He rode freight trains, but never pretended to be a hobo. His friend called him a "fauxbeaux" or something which would work better if it was just fauxbo, I think. Anyway when it warms up a bit I'm leaving town.
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| books books books |
[14 Apr 2008|02:32pm] |
I finally finished She Came to Stay, and I'm really glad I did. It was worth it. Instead of starting in on her memoirs, I think I might broaden my Satre/Beavoir obsession and branch out to Nelson Algren, her "American Lover." I read Chicago's Nelson Algren at work recently and fell in love. There is a part where Art Shay is talking about Algren's work and he quotes a passage that I can only sort of remember but it was about the homeless and how they would line up for bread in the morning after being awake "all night and all night and all night." The black and white photography made everything seem that much more desperate. I don't really know where to start with him though, maybe The Man with the Golden Arm? I think that's supposed to be his best.
I also have William T Vollmann's Riding Toward Everywhere to read. It is about him taking up the life of a hobo and riding the rails! I am excited about it as well. I've never been on a train, which I think only adds to the romanticism. It's kind of a strange book to take on vacation to Hawaii, but I can't very well take the other book I'm reading - Chelsea Girls by Eileen Myles - because it has a picture of an orgy on the front and what about my poor mother's sensibilities?
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[01 Apr 2008|08:04pm] |
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What do you think of the derby name Land Shark? Is it better than Creature?
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[26 Mar 2008|05:09pm] |
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My mother has bought a time share in Hawaii, which means she never has to live through another winter. Up until today, I was envious. Winter is horrible. But today it is Spring. It is definitely spring today! I walked to the grocery store in my spring jacket and sang along to Biggie and didn't care if people noticed and the snowbanks are melting and the birds are chirping and there is mud everywhere and springtime is the time for dragging home ugly furniture from the side of the road and it is the time for that crazy optimistic invincible feeling and I am one big run-on exuberant sentence and none of it could be possible without horrible horrible winter so there!
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[05 Mar 2008|03:41pm] |
i miss the summertime.
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crushedyetagain's journal
